So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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