your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
