I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
