Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
