I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize