You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize