and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
