I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it's like iHOP with fire
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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