Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize