Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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