Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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