Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize