K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she smelled like a LAN party
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
