okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize