did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
