On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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