Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
