Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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