i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
