Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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