is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize