Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
