People with herpes should wear stickers.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
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