3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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