Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
did i walk over a car last night?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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