Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize