So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
