After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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