i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
