pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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