i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
3 2 1 whiskey
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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