What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
