Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
