what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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