You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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