last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
