K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
