so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
