Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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