Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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