Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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