How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
