Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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