SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
