he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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