i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
