You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
