my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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