i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
