I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
