Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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