If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
