Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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