first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
