rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
