It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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