Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
me + whiskey = a bad person
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
