Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
