peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
